Magical Frog

A magical frog is walking through the forest; he comes upon a bear and a rabbit. He says, ‘since you are the first creatures I have seen, I will grant you each three wishes.

The bear goes first and says, ‘I wish I was the only male bear in the whole forest.’
The rabbit says, ‘I wish for a helmet.’

Poof they got their wish.

For the bear’s second wish, ‘I wish I was the only male bear in the whole country.’
The rabbit says, ‘I wish for a motorcycle.’

Poof they got their wish.

For the bear’s last wish, ‘I wish I was the only male bear in the whole world.’
The rabbit makes his last wish by saying ‘I wish the bear was gay’

Then he strapped on his helmet got on the motorcycle and rode away.

Nation’s Emblem

The President of a Latin American country announced today that he is changing the nation’s emblem to a condom as it more clearly reflects the government’s political stance.

A condom stands for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while it’s actually screwing you.

My First Time

It was my first time ever
And I’ll never forget
I’d do it again
Without a single regret.
The sky was dark
The moon was high
We were all alone
Just she and I.
Her hair was soft
Her eyes were blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do.
Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers
Down her spine.
I didn’t know how
But I tried my best
I started by placing
My hands on her breast.
I remember my fear
My heart beating fast
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart.
And when I did it
I felt no shame
All at once
The white stuff came..
At last it’s finished
It’s all over now
My first time ever

 
At milking a cow…

Patient and Student – Nurse

A male patient is lying in bed In the hospital, Wearing an oxygen mask over his Mouth and nose, Still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour surgical procedure.

A young student nurse appears to give him a Partial sponge bath.
Nurse,’ he mumbles, from behind the mask ‘Are my Testicles black?’
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies ‘I don’t know,Sir. I’m only here to wash Your upper body.’

He struggles to ask again, ‘Nurse, are my Testicles black?’
Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles,
She overcomes her Embarrassment and sheepishly Pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his Penis in one hand and his Testicles in the other,
Lifting and moving them Around and around gently.

Then, she takes a close look and says, ‘No sir, they aren’t and I assure you, there’s nothing wrong With them, Sir !!’
The man pulls off his oxygen mask, Smiles at her and Says very slowly, ‘Thank you very much. That was Wonderful, but listen Very, very closely…..

‘ A r e – m y – t e s t – r e s u l t s -b a c k ?’