Category Archives: Jokes

The Geography of a Man and Woman

The Geography of a Woman

  • Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa. Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!
  • Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.
  • Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
  • Between 36 and 30, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
  • Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all conquering past.
  • Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel, has been through war, doesn’t make the same mistakes twice, takes care of business.
  • Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.
  • After 70, she becomes Tibet. Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages, An adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.

The Geography of a Man

  • Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran, ruled by the nuts.

The End.

Cheese Tomate Sandwiches

Boy: So, sex at my place?
Girl: Yeah!
Boy: OK, but I sleep in a bunk bed with my younger brother and he thinks we’re making sandwiches so this is the code.
Cheese = Faster.
Tomato = Harder.
Girl: OK?

~Later~

Girl: CHEESE CHEESE TOMATO CHEESE!
Brother: Stop making sandwiches!

Little Johnny Presentation

Early one morning as school was starting the teacher called out to her students to get ready to make their presentations. She had asked the students to write about something important that happened in their families the night before.

She asked who wanted to go first and Terry and little Johnny raised their hands. She called on Terry first because Little Johnny had a tendency to be fowl mouthed Terry gave his presentation and went back to his seat.

Little Johnny walked up to the board and drew a dot and then walked back to his seat.

The teacher after pondering over this for a minute finally asked what it was and Little Johnny said it was a period and the teacher said yes I can see that but what does it mean.

Little Johnny said, “The hell if I know, but last night at dinner when my sister told my parents she missed one Dad had a heart attack, Mom fainted and the drug store owner on the corner shot himself.”

Threesome

A guy walks into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist,
“Listen, I have three girls coming over tonight. I
‘ve never had three girls at once, so,
I need something to keep me horny, to keep men potent.”

The pharmacist reaches under the counter,
unlocks the bottom drawer and takes out a small cardboard box marked with a label Viagara Extra and says,
“Here, if you eat this, you’ll go nuts for twelve hours.”

The guy says, “Gimme three boxes.”

The next day, the guy walks into the same pharmacy,
limps up to the pharmacist and pulls down his pants.

The pharmacist looks in horror as he notices the man’s penis is black and blue,
and skin is hanging off in some places.

In a pained voice, the man moans out, “Gimme a tube of Deep Heat.”

The pharmacist replies in horror, “You can’t put Deep Heat on that!”

The man replies, “No, it’s for my arms, the girls didn’t show up.

Sex Education

A man walks into a drug store with his 13-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, “What are these, Dad?”
To which the man matter-of-factly replies, “Those are called condoms, son…. Men use them to have safe sex.”

“Oh I see,” replied the boy pensively. “Yes, I’ve heard of that in health class at school.”
He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, “Why are there 3 in this package?”
The Dad replies, “Those are for high school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday.”
“Cool!” says the boy.
He notices a 6 pack and asks, “Then who are these for?”
“Those are for college boys.” The dad answers, “TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday.
“WOW!” exclaimed the boy, “then who uses THESE?” he asks, picking up a 12 pack.

With a sigh, the dad replied, “Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March…