Wife caught Husband sleeping with his girlfriend. Furious and angry she aimed a pistol at her husband.
Husband: Before you do anything silly let me explain. I read Mahatma Gandhi’s autobiography last night “My Experiments with Truth”.
He used to sleep with young women to check his will power and control over carnal desires. I was just doing same…
Wife: What was the result..???
Husband: I realized that I’m not Bapu I am Asaram Bapu…
Last night I said to my boyfriend “I demand good manners in bed, just like at the dinner table.”
So he climbs into bed very slowly and says: “Honey, would you please pass me the pussy?”
A husband wife, were sitting at home, watching a T.V. Program about human psychology, which was explaining the phenomenon of “Mixed Emotions”
The husband asked his wife, “Do you really believe in this nonsense?”
She replied, “Yes, I do!”
He responded, “What crap! This is all bull-shit ! I bet that, you cant tell me anything, which will make me happy sad, at the same time !”
She replied, ” Do you know that, out of your 4 best friends, Jake, Tom, John Richard, you have the biggest penis ?”
Man asks his doctor, “Can I have sex with my pregnant wife?”
The doctor replied:
“Yes. The first 3 months will be just like normal the next three months you should do it like dog and the last three months you should do it like tiger.”
The man replies:
“Tiger? I don’t know that method.”
The doctor explains :
“Like Tiger Woods. Sleep with other women.”
Janam hote hi dudh ki bottle.
Thoda bada hote hi pepsi ki bottle.
Jawani me beer ki bottle.
Uske bad whisky ki bottle
Liver fail hua to Glucose ki bottle
Operation hua to khoon ki bottle
Mar gaya to ganga jal ki bottle
Ek baar pakro to
Zindgi bhar ka sath deti hai BOTTLE HI BOTTLE…