One day a girl was with her mom in the park and saw two teens having sex on the bench. The little girl asked her mom, “Mommy, what are they doing?”
The mom was blushing and replied, “Oh their making cakes.”
The next day the girl and the mom went to the zoo and saw two monkey having sex. The little girl asked again, “Mommy, what are they doing?”
Again the mother replied, “Oh their making cakes.”
The next day, the little girl confronted her mom, “Mommy, I know you and daddy we’re making cakes last night.”
The mom was frightened and asked, “How did you know?”
The little girl replied, “I licked the icing off the couch! It was good too!”

Police officer George and woman Police officer Mary and their police dog had been assigned to walk a beat. They had been out only a short time then Mary said, “Damn, I was running late this morning I forgot to put on my panties! It is so uncomfortable. We have to go back to the station to get them.”

“We don’t have to go back,” George replied. “Just give the dog one sniff between your legs, and he’ll go fetch them for you.”

Mary lifted her skirt for the dog. After ten seconds of sniffing, the dog took off toward the station house.

Twenty minutes later they heard sirens. Suddenly the dog rounded the corner with a dozen police cars in pursuit – and the superintendent’s balls in his mouth!

A man and his friend went to a bar and started talking. The man says to his friend “I think my wife is cheating on me.”

The friend says, “How do you know?”
The man replies, “She didn’t come home last night and she said she was with her sister Shirley.”
The friend said, “and…..”
The man says, “She is lying because I was with her sister last night.”

One day a boy asked his father, “Dad, what is between moms legs?” The father reply, “The door to heaven!”

“Then what is between yours?” – the boy asked. The father said, “The key to the door!” Then the boy said, “I think you should change the lock because our neighbor has the spare key.”

One day, Little Johnny overheard his parents fighting. Later, he asked what “bitch” and “bastard” mean. They explained that they mean “lady” and “gentleman.”

The next day, he overheard his parents having sex. He later asked what “pen*s” and “vag*na” mean. His parents explained that they refer to “hats” and “coats.”

At supper the next day, Little Johnny’s mom cut her finger in the kitchen and yelled,”Oh f**k!” Little Johnny asked what that meant, and she said it means “cut.”

A week later, guests arrive for Thanksgiving dinner. Little Johnny welcomes them at the door, saying, “Hello bitches and bastards! Hurry up with your pen*ses and vag*nas — we can’t wait to f**k the turkey!”