There were these two nude statues in a park, male and female, who always stared at each other.

One day, a wizard came up to them and said, “this is your 200th anniversary so I am going to give you just 30 minutes of humanity so spend it well.” The wizard waved his wand and the two statues went behind one of the big trees and the wizard heard giggles laughs and saw a little hanky panky but nothing much. After fifteen minutes they came out exhausted and the wizard asked why don’t they do it again so as not to waste their 15 minutes.

The male statue said to the female statue “Ok, but this time you hold the pigeon and I’ll crap on it.”

1. You find new partners daily and not feel sleazy.
2. Being “friends with benefits” is par for the course.
3. You can enjoy selling to customers of all shapes and sizes.
4. You get paid commensurate with the quality of your performance.
5. You never need a little blue pill in order to start selling.
6. You can still find customers even if you’re old or ugly.
7. The more you sell, the easier it becomes to sell even more.
8. If you’re successful, you don’t end up paying child support.
9. You can post your wins on a website and not get a letter from a lawyer.
10. Existing customers don’t get jealous when you close a new prospect.
11. As a role model, Zig Ziglar isn’t creepy like Hugh Hefner.
12. You’re far less likely to catch a social disease.
13. Nobody complains if you close the deal in under a minute.
14. There are few, if any, religious taboos against selling.
15. You can take a multitude of sales positions and never pull a muscle.
16. You don’t end up all sweaty after you close the deal.
17. Selling is as good over the phone as in person. Maybe better.
18. After you sell, you never have to stay the night.
19. At the end of the act, both participants are usually happy.
20. Nobody gets jealous when you ask for a referral.
21. Nobody complains that your portfolio is too small.
22. Make a big score and your CEO might tout it at the company meeting.
23. If you’re good enough, you can sell a hundred times a day.
24. You don’t get fired for reading Sales Machine at work.
25. After you close the sale, you don’t have to sleep on the wet spot.

1. Japan Tokyo
   A man accidentally tore a girl’s short miniskirt in Tokyo . Before the guy had a chance to apologize, the single lady took a 90 degree bow, then said: “I am sorry to give you trouble! The quality of the skirt is not all that good”. Then she took out a pin, put the skirt back together and left.
2. New York
   Time Square, New York , a man accidentally tore a girl’s miniskirt. Before the guy had a chance to react, the single lady pull out a name card, gave it to him and said: “This is my lawyer’s business card. He will contact you about this sexual harassment. It is better that you prepare yourself, then we will see you in court”.
3. Paris France
   A French man accidentally tore a girl’s miniskirt. Before the man opened his mouth, the young single lady said with a smile “If you do not mind, a red rose can represent your apology”. The French man bought her a rose, then they went to a bar, and lastly, they went to a small hotel discussing what was under the miniskirt.
4. London, Thames England
   In the Church Square by The Thames, an English man accidentally tore the mini skirt of a young single lady. Before the English man opened up his mouth, the young lady covered her tore spot, then said with a blush on her face: “Do you mind taking me home sir? I live very close”. The English man took his jacket off, put on her shoulders, call a cab, then took her home safely.
5. China, Chong Qing
   A man accidentally cut open the miniskirt of a young lady. Before the man said anything, the young lady slapped the guy, then: “You, the sex maniac. Dare to take advantage of me, I will send you to the labor camp”.
6. Taiwan, Shimending
   A man accidentally tore a girl’s short miniskirt. Before the guy started to speak, the girl smiled and said: “We have not come up with a price yet, and you are going to inspect the merchandise”?
7. Hong Kong
   In the Time Square of Hong Kong, a man accidentally tore a girl’s miniskirt. She was only 18 years old. Before the man opened his mouth, the girl screamed: “XXXXX your mother, you think I am a cheap street walker? Watch out, I will get someone to peel off your skin”.
8. Korea
   On the street of Yinchong, a man accidentally tore a girl’s miniskirt. Before the man speaks, the girl gave him a round kick, then said: “Don’t you know that I am a black belt in Tai Kwan Dao”.
9. Thailand, Bangkok
   A man accidentally tore the miniskirt of an 18 year old girl. Before the man start to apologize, the girl gave a Buddha wai with her hands in a gesture of respect: “No worries darling, we are all men”.

When I was born, I was given a choice – A big dick or a good memory.
I don’t remember, what I chose.

A birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

Impotence: Nature’s way of saying “No hard feelings…”

There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men -“don’t” and “stop”, unless they are used together.

Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to best thing on earth.

There are three stages of sex in a man’s life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

Virginity can be cured.

Virginity is not dignity, it’s lack of opportunity.

Having sex is like playing bridge.
If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.

I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.

Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

Q: What’s an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

A couple just married were happy with the whole thing.
He was happy with the hole and she was happy with the thing.

Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn’t.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don’t have eyes.

Despite the old saying, “Don’t take your troubles to bed”, many men still sleep with their wives.

A friend asked what I would regret most if I were to die in my sleep?
Probably going to bed.

A five-year-old boy asked his friend what a penis was.

His friend’s response was that he did not know and he would ask his dad.
That evening the second boy asked his dad.
His dad gladly exposed himself to his son and, holding his penis in one hand, said, “Son, this is a penis.

In fact, if you take a closer look you will notice that this is a perfect penis.”

The next day the boy saw his friend at recess and called him behind a hedge.

The boy exposed himself and whispered, “This is a penis. In fact, if it were three inches shorter it would be a perfect penis.